Frequently Asked Questions

14. Notable Quotes.

Arresting Officer:

"This is your receipt for your husband...and this is my receipt for your receipt."

Bill, Department of Works:

"Mistakes? We don't make mistakes."

Charlie, Department of Works:

"Bloody typical, they've gone back to metric without telling us."

Shirley:

"Salt?"

"Pepper?"

"Oh, it's...it's all right. I don't like you either."

Tuttle:

"...well, that's a pipe of a different color."

"Listen, this old system of yours could be on fire and I couldn't even turn on the kitchen tap without filling out a 27b/6...Bloody paperwork."

"My good friends call me Harry."

"Listen, kid, we're all in it together."

Kurtzmann:

"It's been confusion from the word go!"

Mrs. Buttle:

"What have you done with his body?"

Jack:

"Until this whole thing blows over, just stay away from me."

"It's not my fault that Buttle's heart condition didn't appear on Tuttle's file!"

Sam:

"Yes...No...I don't know. I don't know what I want."

"Mr. Helpmann, I'm keen to get into Information Retrieval. Mr. Helpmann, I'm dying to get at this woman... no, no, no."

"Yes, I always used to wonder if she wore falsies. False ears..."

"Sorry, I'm a bit of a stickler for paperwork. Where would we be if we didn't follow the correct procedures?"

"I assure you, Mrs. Buttle, the Ministry is very scrupulous about following up and eradicating any error. If you have any complaints which you'd like to make, I'd be more than happy to send you the appropriate forms."

Helpmann:

Helpmann uses a variety of sporting references, including:

"Bad sportsmanship. A ruthless minority of people seem to have forgotten good old-fashioned virtues. They just can't stand seeing the other fellow win. If these people would just play the game..."

"We're fielding all their strokes, running a lot of them out, and pretty consistently knocking them for six. I'd say they're nearly out of the game."

"Jill? Yes...Sam I think I ought to tell you. I'm afraid she's upped stumps and retired to the pavillion. Thrown in the towel."

"All I can say is don't fall at the last fence. The finishing post's in sight. See you in the paddock...keep your eye on the ball."

Warren:

"An empty desk is an efficient desk!"

Dr. Lewis Jaffe:

"Just me and my little knife! Snip snip -- slice slice... can you believe it?"

"Faces are a doddle compared to tits and ass. No hairline."

Spoor:

"Where'd you get this from, eh? Out yer nostril?"

"All you've got to do is blow your nose and it's fixed, in't it?"

Lime:

"Computers are my forte!"

Jill:

"Care for a little necrophilia?. . .Hmmm?"

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Brazil FAQ Copyright © 1994 - 1998 David S. Cowen.